Updated: Jan 13, 2019
As most of my fans know, I've battled multiple surgeries over the past 3 1/2 years. To say it's been challenging is a huge understatement! Honestly, there have been times that I felt so discouraged that I wanted to quit everything, especially working out which used to be my only salvation. I've had days where just getting out of bed was not only physically, but mentally challenging. I've had nights that seem endless with worry, wonder and frustration.
My faith has been tested to the limits and I can't tell you how many questions I have for the Big Man!
This blog is not about overcoming and making it to "the other side", but about still trying to figure it all out. Although a few surgeries went pretty well, most of them have been re surgeries due to complications, and it's been really hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel. I'm telling you, I dig deep daily to find some hope of getting well and some of those days are better than others. Today is not a good one, but I know that tomorrow will be different and just may offer up something positive to focus on.
I'm thinking about Tom Hanks in the movie "Cast Away". Towards the end of the movie he's telling his friend about being marooned on the island for 4 years, trying to kill himself and losing all hope of survival. Then he explains that out of nowhere one day, some debris off of a freighter washes up which he later uses to create a sail for a raft that eventually gets him off of the island and rescued. His point was that you never know what each day might bring, and it could just be something positive that leads to other positives events. He specifically says that all he could do was "keep on breathing" - that was ALL he had power over. And, right now, my friends, that is all I can do today, and that will have to be good enough.
I am down, but not defeated. Being "Buff" taught me that strength comes from determination, discipline and hard work - even in the face of adversity! I had different challenges then, but I always muscled through them, and I am confident that I will again. I am in "the tunnel" looking for that light, hoping that it's out there somewhere, trusting my faith and breathing, breathing, breathing.................
Too Chey on Behalf of Buff